The Blessing

Sadly...

I started this blog back when Eliana was a baby and she is now 7 years old!  A lot has changed in our lives since then and this blog captured much of it.  Through blogging, I have met online friends and some have become true friends, whether I have met them in real life or not.  I am going to continue blogging, but not here.  This was my first blogging home and I am sad to say good-bye to it, but a series of events have transpired that contributed to my decision to shut down this site.  

The domain name is up for renewal and has gone up in price.  It is hosted on typepad, which has a monthly fee.  But the main reason is that on this blog, in the archives are some very personal stories about my kids and with my book coming out, I don't want to potentially expose that to the public.  Though this blog has always been public, it has never been listed in search engines and that has given me a measure of comfort.

You can continue to follow our family adventures on The Chaos and The Clutter and my writing here.  Please bookmark those pages because I would hate to lose any of the relationships I've made here.

If you live locally and would like to come to my book launch for That These Two Will Live in January, e-mail me at oursevenblessingsATgmailDOTcom and I'll send you an invite.  If you don't live locally, but would like to order the book, you can find it here or on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Chapters, etc.  It will be in bookstores sometime in the New Year.

Before I sign off, a bit of what's new with our family:  

Mackenzie is doing well.  His grades at school are improving; he is doing well at work.  He has been boxing with my brother Matt every week and is getting stronger and more confident.  He is way taller than me now and just an inch or so shorter than Mark and closing that gap quickly.

Jonah is really enjoying school.  He just told Mark the other day that he thinks that for him, starting this year was perfect timing.  He is in hockey and makes us proud with how hard he works at hockey, school, and his job.

Gracelyn did really well in her gymnastics, skipping over five badges and completing the sixth badge!  She is a natural.  Her health is still an ongoing struggle, but her attitude is so positive and inspiring!

Josiah is doing really well too.  He is such a sweetheart.  He is in his glory right now because our printer broke and I gave it to him to take apart and Mark's brother gave him an old laptop to play with.  He loves figuring out how things work.  He also loves to read.

Elijah is also doing well, although the holidays are challenging for him.  He is looking forward to playing baseball again in the Spring and we are planning to sign him up for a pitcher's camp before then.

Eliana is still our little drama queen.  I have had to regularly tell her the story of the boy who cried wolf!  She is loving life and still our little outdoor tree climbing barefoot girl.

Sedaya continues to want to help around the house (no complaints here) and has a cheerful disposition.  She enjoyed gymnastics too, but more the social aspect of making new friends.

Homeschooling the younger five is going really well actually, though it has been a lot of time and work this year.  I am learning at least as much as they are, especially about world history.

Mark is considering some changes at work for the New Year, but nothing has been decided yet.  He will continue in the same career though.  He has been on a health kick since he got back from his mountain biking trip to Moab, Utah this summer.  He's been eating a lot of spinach and spinach and fruit smoothies and feeling much healthier.  He's looking pretty hot!

This year was a pretty unusual one for me because of writing the e-book, the other book being published, and working on Adoption Magazine and my new blog.  I also attended the FASD Conference in Calgary last month and took four other kids to Disneyland with my mom.  It's been quite a year!

We are looking forward to spending some time with family and friends over the holidays.  Our family wishes you all a blessed Christmas and all the best in 2012!

My eBook Information

I recently wrote an eBook entitled "Shield: A Framework of Self-Care for Foster and Adoptive Families".  It is now available.  For more information (testimonials, how to order, etc.) go here.  I am also currently offering a promotion for the pdf version.  If you help to promote the eBook in some way (Facebook, e-mail, word of mouth, twitter, blog post, review on your blog after you've read it, or all of the above), just enter the code promote at checkout and receive 20% off.  

Further, once you read it, if you feel that it would be helpful to others and is something that you would like to endorse, you can sign up as an affiliate and receive 30% commission on any books sold through your affiliate link.  There is information on how to do this here. 

On Monday, I will be writing an explanation on Adoption Magazine about why I felt this resource was important and what my hopes for it are.  

Thank you in advance for your support!!!

Birthdays when you're a mom

Today is my birthday.  I don't tell you that to get a bunch of "Happy Birthday" comments, (though I'm not opposed to those either), but rather to let other moms know that most of the time, birthdays once you're a mom are not really about you.

This morning, I was awakened just after 5 a.m. by Eliana who was complaining of a stomachache.  It wasn't long before I found myself in the bathroom with her, holding the bucket while she dry heaved.  Happy Birthday to me!

Later this morning, the kids were making me cards and as I tried to go back to sleep, they were loud and fighting over who was going to write what in the cards.  They came in later to give me their cards, each card containing my gift of a pair of socks.  After Elijah handed me his card and I said thank you, he burst into tears and threw himself down on the floor, crying about how Josiah wouldn't let him write his own words.  So, I plunked him on my lap, handed him a nearby marker, and talked him through how to write what he wanted to write.  But even when he was done, he was still sobbing.  I asked him what was really going on and he said that my birthday made him feel sad because it made him think about his other mom.  So we talked about that for awhile and I comforted him.

Mark left for work and I didn't have time to have a shower.  (last week when I tried to leave the kids unsupervised while I had a shower, they broke the TV irreparably (see picture here), so I wasn't going to risk it today)  I swept my hair up into a ponytail, threw on some clothes, and went downstairs to clean up the kitchen and break up a fight between two of the kids.

I know that there are moms out there who are nodding their heads about now, agreeing that birthdays when your kids are young are not all balloons and roses!  

I had a coupon for a free cupcake, so yesterday on my way home, I stopped and used it to get myself a cupcake for today.  When Jonah asked if he could have it and I said that it was my birthday cake and it was for me, he told me that wasn't fair!  Oh, the life of a mom!

Since cleaning up the kitchen and refereeing, I have also argued with Grace about her taking her medicine, gotten into a battle of wills with Elijah over him wearing a shirt with a huge hole in it, and folded some laundry.  Now, I am waiting around for the internet guy who is late.

But don't feel sorry for me.  My fighting kids are a reminder that I have kids, a blessing that I don't take for granted.  I am very aware of how many people wish they were in this position and it is something I never let myself forget.  I also am making sure that I create a good birthday.  I am taking the kids to my favourite restaurant later and my mom is meeting us and then for tonight, I am going to make myself some good food and open up some good wine.  

This is the first year that I put my birthday on Facebook and I am glad that I did because I've gotten a lot of messages and they help me to know that even though at my house, today is pretty much like any other day, I am not forgotten!  So thanks to everyone for the birthday messages.  My message to other moms who feel like their special day isn't so special is: create your own blessings and appreciate what you have.  I'll try to take my own advice!

Anyone Still Here?

I know I hardly post here anymore now that I have moved over the The Chaos and The Clutter, but I just had to share a few of the recent goings on in our life and some of them I didn't want to be as public as over there, so:

-Gracelyn is still not doing well...it's been about five weeks now I think since she has been allowed to go outside and it's tough on all of us.  Her days are more manageable right at this second.  She is only needing medication every four or five hours instead of every two, but she is still on high doses of Prednisone.  So...we wait until it gets cold.  When we hit at least -2, she should start to improve.

-Jonah is thriving.  He has started hockey season and is loving that as always and is striving for honours in school.  His grades are excellent; he has made a lot of friends; he is doing well at work.

-Mackenzie is living at my mom's.  I was a wreck about it in September, but now, I am fine.  Our house is more peaceful and he and I and he and Mark are working on having a good relationship moving forward.  The other night, he came out to bring me a Slurpee after I had received some hard news and that was really sweet of him and meant a lot to me.  We are baby stepping our way forward in this unchartered situation.  We are so thankful for my mom though!

-The kids are loving gymnastics and mostly loving homeschooling this year.  I am doing hard core homeschooling and still hating all the prep work and the scheduling and planning.  But, it is what they need and it is working for them, so I trudge on.  Before when people used to say "I can't believe you homeschool too...when do you find the time?", I used to think they were crazy because I thought that having kids in school was way more work and time than homeschooling and that was true of the way I used to homeschool, but now, the truth is, I don't know how to find the time to get it all done unless I stay up until 2 a.m. a couple of times a week.  So I do.

-Mark just got home from a Conference in Vegas.  It went okay while he was gone, but the bedtimes were hell.  No one listened.  No one stayed in bed.  Even well after midnight, I still had kids coming down...every night.  I don't do well with that.  I need my down time.

-I went for an ultrasound on Tuesday for a breast lump that I have had since August.  It looks like it's not cancer...yeah!  I told the ultrasound tech that I knew it wasn't cancer because I don't have time to have cancer right now.

-I had a visit this morning from my friend Keltie and I was disastrously disorganized.  I knew she and her four kids were coming, but I was out late last night and I had no feed prepared for them, I was trying to style Sedaya's hair because Sedaya thought it would be fun to take out her braids by herself this morning (ugh!), and trying to get the kids off to gymnastics.  But, I am so glad that I am finally in a place in my life where I can just be myself and not be perfect and have friends that can accept that about me.  Next time she comes, I may have a feast prepared, but I may just offer her leftovers or nothing, and it's good to know that she'll be my friend either way.

-had a long visit with another good friend last night.  I'm being way more social than usual this week!

-have been communicating back and forth with my editor (that just sounds way too cool!  Can I say that another ten times?!  "my editor said..."  "my editor called"  "I was just discussing with my editor"!!!!!)  My book is being published and it should be in stores in 8 weeks give or take a week or two!  Can you believe it?!  I am so excited!  The book is our a memoir of our Ethiopian adoption.

-Anyone know anything about planning a book launch?  marketing a book?

-Anyone know anything about launching a shortish e-book and a book within a month of each other, doing all the behind the scenes work for both, working with designers and editors for both, keeping up 2 websites, homeschooling, going on a 6 day trip, doing laundry, parenting kids, caring for a child with medical concerns, keeping up on housework (who are we kidding?  that one isn't going to happen!), and maintaining sanity???!!!  Because I could really use some helpful tips right about now!  

-Did I mention that our babysitter is having to cut back to one day a week?  Yep, overwhelmed would be a good word to describe my current state.  But it's a good kind of overwhelmed because I am excited about the book and the eBook project.

-There is more, but this is getting long and I have bickering kids who really are just hungry after their gymnastics class, so I need to go and feed them.

 

Edmonton and Area Adoption Gathering

We are hosting a potluck for families in any stage of any type of adoption at our house on Saturday, September 24, 2011. For details and direction to our place, contact me at oursevenblessings(AT)gmail(DOT)com.

Love

I love my in-laws.  That's not something you hear many daughter-in-laws saying, but I really do.  They popped out for a visit last week on Elijah's birthday and we took a walk out in the yard so that the kids could show them their new tree fort and I snapped a few pictures.  When I look at the pictures, the word "treasures" comes to mind.

 

Tiny Favour?

If you have 30 seconds, hop over here and vote for me (The Chaos and The Clutter).  Thanks so much!

Volunteers Needed!

I am in the process of writing 2 e-books and the first draft of the first one is done (YEAH!).  I am looking for 3 volunteers who would be willing to read through it, provide feedback, look for typing or grammatical errors, and do a short write up that would be on the public promotional page for the e-book.  What's in it for you, you might ask?!

Well, you get to read something before anyone else, you get to read it for free, and when the finished e-book is complete with a nice little title page, etc., I will get you one of those as well.  Really, not much is in it for you except to do a favour for me!

The other catch?  It's not a really spell-binding edge of your seat topic!  I will say that it is adoption related and may be helpful to anyone in any stage of the adoption process.  (you can e-mail me for the actual topic if you are on the fence)

The good news?  It is very short.  As the topic is somewhat related to lowering your stress in adoption, I wanted to keep it concise and as short as possible.  It will be somewhere between 20-25 pages long.

That's it.  Any volunteers?

Projects in the Works

To say that life is busy at the moment is an understatement, but I do not say that as a complaint.  I don't know how not to be busy it seems!  This week, there is a lot of driving...Jonah is in Summer School, Elijah is in a baseball camp, and Mackenzie and Jonah are both working.  

My mom is staying with us this week, which I love, though we haven't seen her much because she leaves for work before we get up and it seems like most days, she is only here to sleep.  It's still awesome having her here though.  We get to visit a bit and of course, she insists on helping me clean up the kitchen after supper!!!

What is really keeping me busy though is projects.  I have a few projects on the go:

-my book is done and has been set aside until August as I have sent it in to a contest and a publisher and won't hear back until then

-Adoption Magazine is needing my attention as I need to look for new submissions, update the site, and build on what is there

-I am writing 2 adoption-related e-books.  I am really hoping that one will be ready by September or October, but Grace's 8 days in the hospital put me behind in everything and I haven't worked on them since before she went in

-I need to find time to sit down and do my homeschool planning

-I made a new website.  I tried last year to make a public blog (pockets of change) but I hated it.  I hated the title.  I hated the look.  I hated that because it was on Wordpress, I couldn't put anything on it at any point down the line that could make me any money (even advertising my e-books when they are done).  Mostly, I hated when pockets of change started to grow in followers because it freaked me out that my kids' names and identifying information was out there in such a public forum, so I started to write less on it and feel stifled in my writing.  I know that here I use my kids' names etc., but because this site is not on the search engines and the people reading it are either people I know or people who found it via another adoption blog, I am not paranoid about it.

The new website is The Chaos and The Clutter.   It has pseudonyms for my kids and so far, I have found posting on it very easy.  I transferred over some of my other blog's articles and have mostly concentrated on homeschooling, couponing, recipes, and kids' activities, crafts, etc.  I am enjoying that it is already getting a lot of traffic and am not feeling freaked out by that.  I am also feeling mighty proud of myself because I made it myself.  I taught myself some programming code, hardly slept for four days one weekend, sometimes wanted to throw the computer across the room, but found that I was able to figure most things out eventually.  One website, Blogging With Amy, was invaluable in teaching me a lot of what I needed to know.  I am hoping to make some money with the new site in the future.  I am setting it up and building it with the goal in mind that in 2012, it will be an income source for us, which we will need because of other projects we have in mind (orphan care, Mark taking Jonah on a trip to Thailand, taking the kids to visit Ethiopia, and of course, getting a hepafilter put in to our house for Gracelyn to be able to breathe).

-I am in the very infancy stages of a project with Focus on the Family that partners with churches in the area to bring awareness about orphan care, adoption, foster care, and support of adoptive families.  But shhhh, it is really early and we don't know what we are doing yet exactly.  I am really excited about it though, so excited I can hardly sleep with all the ideas swirling around in my head kind of excited!  The other people that God has chosen to work on this project are also adoption/orphan/foster care passionate and it is a blessing to be able to speak to others who share my passions and want to do something to help children and families.

-and then there are the regular projects, the house fixing up projects (2 of our toilets won't flush, two of our drawers are broken, our freezer door isn't sealing, etc.) and neither of us is handy and can figure out what to do!

-project Anniversary...Mark's parent's 55th Anniversary is in August and there is going to be a dinner out and then the next day, there is going to be a get-together here of somewhere between 40 and 55 people!  so I am already working on baking muffins to feed our out-of-town guests easy breakfasts and thinking about menu planning etc.

-project "pay off debt" is going really well thanks to Dave Ramsey and my new found coupon hobby.  The coupon thing has shaved $600 off our grocery bill the past 2 months, so that extra money has been able to be applied directly to debt.  

That's about all the projects I can think of.  It's busy, but good.  

P.S.  Anyone have an extra hepafilter system they want to donate to a good home???!!!

New Around Here

So much has happened the last week...Gracelyn is home from the hospital and doing really well, in part because of a side effect of the anesthetic she had for her exploratory surgery.  To see really sweet pictures of her time in hospital and read more about it, visit The Chaos and The Clutter.  

Jonah had a HUGE week.  He started Summer School for Math and he got a job!  He and Mackenzie will be working at the same place.  The day Jonah started Summer School was also his first day of work so we had a special supper topped with brownies with a "J" on top out of M+Ms to commemorate the occasion.  

We were able to celebrate Canada Day this year.  We put a mask on Gracelyn and walked around the grounds where the festival was, but we were there when everything was shutting down, so we didn't get to do much.  Josiah went earlier with Mark, who had to take a shift at his work's booth and Josiah went geocaching with some friends.  I have pictures but didn't ask for permission from the other parents to post them, so can't post them.  Here are a few other pictures of our time that day:

I didn't have time to shop for Canada Day attire for the kids (due to being at the hospital until the night before), but I did exchange Sedaya's beads for red and white ones.

Josiah exploring the inside of an ambulance.  He loves meeting the firemen and also getting to sit in a firetruck.  He still wants to be a fireman when he grows up.

A highlight of being at the festival was when I heard my name called out and turned around to see unfamiliar faces (but it didn't freak me out because they were a family that looked somewhat like ours)!  It turned out to be someone I have been e-mailing back and forth as her family is moving to our community.  They are an adoptive family as well and I am looking forward to getting to know them better once they are settled here.  They recognized us from the blog!

We went to a BBQ at Mark's co-workers' and the kids had a water fight.  The thing is that the water in the pool and the breeze outside were super cold and the adults were all amazed that Sedaya stayed in the freezing pool for so long.  This picture of her with the big swim goggles cracks me up!

Yesterday, Mark took Jonah, Elijah, Josiah, and Eliana to his brother's lake and some of the kids tried waterskiing.  Josiah was even successful!  This picture is from the way home...Elijah is sleeping with his underwear over his eyes!!! (I can't turn it for some reason, but you get the idea!)

Today, Elijah and I are going on a date and I am so looking forward to it.

Gracelyn has been in the hospital since Friday, well we were there Thursday all night too, but went home for a few hours and then went back and she got admitted Friday. I am hoping that she will be able to come home Monday, but we will have to wait and see. She is doing much better already. Keep praying. Thanks!

Short Update on Gracelyn

Thank you to those who have been praying for Grace. We just got back from her Pulmonary Specialist and her lung function was at 50%. That is obviously not a good thing, so back on the Prednisone she goes (she was only off for 3 days). She is also quarantined to the house and will have to wear a mask if she goes to a public place like a grocery store. She is pretty sad about that. Please keep praying that her lungs will heal and that in the meantime, we would be able to find ways for her to be able to have fun and not feel like she's missing out on life :(

 

To put this into perspective though, this time last year, she had been on high doses of Prednisone continually since April and her lung function was fluctuating between 20 and 30%, so the injections that she is getting are what is making the difference and we are so thankful that she is doing better than last year (although obviously disappointed that she is not doing as well as was anticipated).  We know that God is in control and we have not given up on a healing miracle.

 

Funky Pseudonyms

I need to come up with some ultra cool, memorable (and easy for me to remember) pseudonyms for my kids for my more public blog.  HELP!  I need to find blog names for Mackenzie, Jonah, Gracelyn, Josiah, Elijah, Eliana, and Sedaya.  Any ideas much appreciated!  Thanks!  Bonus points to anyone who also gives me ideas for a blog name for Mark!

I Am Sad

I know that I am usually a "glass is half full" type of person and even the title of this is negative, but I have decided to have a little pity party and I invite anyone who wants to, to join right in!  I will start at about 7 this evening after most of the kids have been tucked in and Mark has taken Elijah to baseball.  It will involve sitting in front of the TV, possibly even pulling out the Kleenex, any chocolate I can find laying around, and maybe even a glass of wine if I really start to spiral downwards!  So why the pity party?

I am sad.  My daughter can't go outside.  I can't take my kids to the homeschool park day today.  I can't take them to spray parks this summer.  I can't meet other moms at playgrounds for play dates.  I can't take them to parades.  I can't take them berry picking.  (maybe with all the mosquitos this year, I shouldn't complain about that one!)  I can't go visit my sisterS-in-law who live in B.C.  I can't show Sedaya the mountains (Elijah saw them last summer when the boys went camping with Mark, but of course the girls couldn't go because Gracelyn couldn't be outside).  I can't have a bonfire in my backyard.  I can't have a fire in my fireplace.  

That all sounds really selfish, right?  I can't.  But the truth of the matter is, the "I can't"s are 5% of why I am sad.  It's the "she can't"s that are making me cry today.

She can't go floating down the Pembina River with her Daddy and brothers and sisters.  She can't jump outside on the trampoline in her own backyard.  She can't play on our outdoor playground.  She can't go for walks or bike rides around the subdivision.  She can't have a "normal" childhood.  She can't...

It's so hard to watch this happen to my baby girl.  She has already been through so much.  

There are 2 things bringing on my big pity party.  One is that we were really hoping that this new drug would be a miracle, that it would mean she could go camping, that we could all go and visit our B.C. family again (it's been almost 5 years since we could), that she could roast marshmallows over a fire, that we could enjoy the summer and be the spontaneous family that we are.  The second thing is:

Two days ago, was Homeschool Track and Field.  It is a day that we all look forward to all year.  It is awesome!  This year, there were 200 kids participating!  In my hurry to pack up six of the kids and their lunches, hats, bug spray, etc. for the day as well as Grace's medicine (portable pharmacy), I accidentally left her mask by the back door.  That meant that I had to register the other kids and then Grace and I had to come back home to get her mask.  She missed her first event, which was the sack race, her favourite event and the one she won first in last year :(  Then when we got back, she didn't want to wear her mask.  She was embarrassed and worried about what the other kids would say and the stares she knew she would get.  

The truth is, I know that she is not supposed to go outside right now even with a mask.  But she misses out EVERY DAY and I just couldn't stand the thought of her missing out on this, one of the highlights of the year for the kids.  So I had to convince her to wear the mask and I helped her to know what to say if someone asked her about it.  No sooner had she lined up for high jump, the girl in front of her turned around and said (with disgust in her voice), "What is that and why is it on your face?"  My poor girl!  She answered using the short script we had practised, but as a mom, it was hard to watch.  I was so proud of her though.  Last year, she landed on the bar her first attempt at high jump and wouldn't try again.  This year, she came in third in that event and she tried her best in all the events even though her stamina isn't there because of her lungs and after that first event, she placed near the bottom of everything.  

Like every year, my kids didn't care about what place they came in, but wanted to get an assortment of colours of ribbons and even traded with others and among themselves.  I had to laugh when Josiah was trading one of his red ribbons (first place) for an orange one (sixth, I think)!

Anyway, I am glad that I let her go to the Track Meet and it really was a great day and I was super careful, checking her numbers after almost every event and doubling up on some of her medications before bed.  I checked on her at 12:30 when I went to bed and she was fine 

BUT...

At 1:20 a.m., there was banging on our wall and she was barely able to breathe.  It was so scary!  Especially since it had just happened two weeks earlier too.  My heart was racing and she was up for most of the rest of the night as it took a lot of medication for her to recover.  By mid-morning, her numbers were looking good and her doctor was comfortable with what we were doing and thought she might pull out of it, but by early afternoon yesterday, her numbers were awful no matter what I did, so unfortunately, I had to put her back on Prednisone...again.  She had only been off it for 2 or 3 days, so it was disappointing.  

I just wanted her to get to be a kid for just one day and even made her wear a mask, but just the few minutes that she had the mask off outside were enough to send her spiralling down so I am sad.  Sad for her.  Sad for me.  Sad even for what the rest of the kids miss out on.  Just sad.

So that I don't leave my readers sad, here is a link to the promised pictures of Josiah sans-eyebrows:

http://pocketsofchange.wordpress.com/2011/06/07/not-so-stellar-parenting-moment/

And here are some pictures from the Track and Field Day:

Today

This morning while I was in the shower with conditioner in my hair, the water started sputtering...sure enough, we had run out of water.  Hopefully by sometime this afternoon, we will be able to get water delivery, but in the meantime, some of my plans for the day (laundry, dishes, making Sicilian Penne Pasta) are on hold.  Just a small detour caused by something unexpected...

Then while Mark was packing a bag to go have a shower at my mom's, he asked me if today would be a good day to take Josiah to the Titanic exhibit in Calgary.  Josiah, for those who don't know, is Titanic obsessed.  As a matter of fact, a few days ago, we bought him the Titanic model he has been wanting (I finally had a coupon!) and he informed me very solemnly that the model was not accurate because the real Titanic had 20 lifeboats and the model only has 16!  Anyway, the Titanic exhibit in Calgary is supposed to be incredible, but it ends in less than a month.  We have been talking about taking Josiah (we thought about making a family trip of it, but it's expensive to pay for 9 admissions to the Exhibit) and I am used to Mark's spontaneity, so I wasn't shocked by his last minute idea.  We told Josiah only that he was going to go spend the day with Daddy, so he will be SOOOO surprised!  I wish I could be there to see the look on his face!  I have requested that Mark take many pictures!

After they left, Mark called to see if maybe Grace should come too.  She has been cooped up in the house and struggling with not being able to play outside with the other kids.  Yesterday we had my friend Glenda over with four of her kids and Grace kept trying to sneak out to go play with them.  It's really hard for her so today might be just the thing to help give her something special.  So now, I've packed up her medicines and gotten her ready (though she doesn't know for what!) and Mark will pick her up and bring her to Calgary too!!!

I am really excited for Gracelyn and Josiah!!!  This day again, is not what I planned (Mark was going to pick Mackenzie up from school and take him to work and take Elijah to his baseball game, so I will be doing some or all of that now) but it is going to be so much better than I planned because I am really thrilled for the kids that they will have this special time.

In other news:

-I am collecting donations for my friend Denise's Garage Sale.  All the proceeds will go towards their adoption.  They are adopting the sweetest one year old girl from Haiti.  The Sale starts on Thursday so if anyone who lives in the Edmonton area has any stuff they don't need anymore and are willing to donate, please get in touch with me.

-Gracelyn has another round of injections tomorrow and we are hoping that we will be able to lower her Prednisone dose after that (I maybe didn't mention that after that last scare we had, we had to put her back on a pretty high dose of Prednisone and she has been struggling, but slowly improving).

-Josiah shaved his eyebrows off two weeks ago.  I promise I will post pictures and post more about that soon!

-Jonah spent the weekend at YC and had an amazing time!!!  He especially loved one of the speakers. 

-Jonah will be going to brick and mortar school in the fall.  Many factors went into this decision and Mark was more the driving force behind it, but the bottom line is that Jonah was ready and that although I will really miss having him at home, it will be much easier to gear the homeschooling towards the five kids who are all at similar levels.  Some of the younger kids have such specific needs that it does make it a challenge to also try to teach the junior high level and Jonah has been getting bored this year, so it is a bittersweet decision, but I think it will be good.

-We are finally starting to get the hang of some of the aspects of this parenting teenagers thing.  I wish I could blog the specifics because it's pretty funny, but I try to respect their privacy a little bit.  Those of you who have seen the Cosby show episode where Theo is made to understand the true costs of living independently will have some idea of the kind of thing I mean!!!

-Elijah is loving baseball.

-Sedaya is still in the midst of her attachment therapy and it has been difficult, but we are seeing results.  She is really beginning to express her true emotions and fears and I think that trust is beginning to set in.

-Eliana is her usual quirky, cool self.  She had a bit of an accident over the weekend though.  She was running full tilt around the corner into the Quonset at the same time that Elijah was biking out of the Quonset and they collided.  Eliana's chest was hit with the bike and she got the wind knocked out of her and she actually passed out.  Mark was right there thankfully and her eyes rolled back in her head.  It's such a good thing it was him and not me because I would have freaked out and he was calm.  She is totally fine, but was understandably really scared.  There is never a dull moment around here!

-Mark stained the deck this weekend.  My dad came over and mowed our lawn and then stayed and ate supper with us on Saturday night which was really nice.  We planted a small garden and a strawberry patch next to our raspberry bushes.  Our tomatoes froze and died and our jalapeno plant is looking sad, but the rest is good.  I can hardly wait until my zucchinis come in!

-There is more that's new, but Elijah wants me to play a board game with him and Mark just picked Grace up, so I have to run!  If you're still reading after all that, thanks!!!

Depends How You Look At It

Last night was either a terrible night or a great night, depending on how you look at it.  At 4 a.m., I was awakened by the tiniest noise, hardly anything.  Normally, not even something that would wake me.  It was amazing that with the fan on in my room I heard anything at all.  I immediately thought that it was Eliana having a bad dream and almost went back to sleep but something (God) nudged me to get up.  I walked down the hall towards Eliana's room and when I was passing Gracelyn's door, I heard her gasp for breath.  That is not a sound I have heard in 8 months, but it is a sound I will always recognize.  I fought the urge to go to her and instead raced down the stairs to get her machine and medicine.  The medicine I first got wasn't going to be strong enough so I had to climb on a stool to reach the kind I needed for her, but the stool was right there already.  I ran back upstairs and got her on her machine.  At that point, she couldn't even talk.  She later told me she couldn't call for us and was scared.  She is fine.  It scared me so badly, but she is fine.  

She had gone outside yesterday when the grass was being swept and it had kicked up dust.  I had the instinct to call her in, but didn't (when will I learn to listen to that?!) because I rationalized that since it had just rained, it would be fine.  She has been doing really well since her last injections and has even been able to go outside every day for over a week.  I was just telling my mother-in-law on the phone last night how well she is doing and how we are starting to be able to relax a bit more!!!

So anyway, I have really been awake since 4 a.m.  (At 5, Mark and I decided to play Boggle on his iPhone since we couldn't go back to sleep...my heart was still racing!)  Some would call it a really bad night.  I look at it differently though.  Normally, Grace sleeps with her door shut.  Last night for some reason, it was wide open which is why I heard anything at all.  Mark and I have an air conditioner in our window which we usually have running at night but last night it was cool because of the rain so we had it turned off (from now on, we will be setting up a baby monitor in Grace's room like we used to do) so again, we heard something.  The stool was next to the pantry, far from where it should have been, enabling me to reach the medicine faster.  And then of course, there was that nudge getting me out of bed in the first place.  I believe all of it was God, protecting our little girl.  She is okay.  She is on her machine right now.  She is still not great, but she will be fine.  And I am fine because she is okay.  I don't know what I'd do without my girl.

Confession

This one probably won't be a shock to those who know me really well, but may surprise some:

I hate being outside.  I love nature; I really do.  I love the mountains and trees and flowers.  I love the sky at night and in the day.  But I don't like being outside.  It's hard to explain because it doesn't make a lot of sense, but I suspect that it is at least partly due to hating feeling hot and being squeamish about things like worms and creepy crawly things.  

This weekend, we went to a local Greenhouse and it was so beautiful.  I went inside and absolutely loved it.  I loved being surrounded by all the greenery and marvelled with the kids at all the different types and colours of flowers that God had made.  I loved the feel of it, the smell of it, the sight of it.  But then we went to the part of the greenhouse that was outside and though I still thought that the trees and plants were lovely, I didn't like the feel of being outside, couldn't appreciate the smells or sights much because I was wishing I were back in the indoor part of the greenhouse.  How strange, right?  I know this makes me weird.  I mean who doesn't like the outdoors?!

Once we got back home and Mark and the kids started digging up the dirt to get the gardens ready, I stayed inside as long as I could doing dishes and cleaning up (who would rather do dishes than go outside?!) until I absolutely could not justify staying in any longer.  I helped get the dirt ready.  I tried my best not to freak out when the kids were all holding live worms and showing me big beetles.  I got down in the dirt and helped the kids plant strawberry plants.  I watered the raspberry bushes.  I am glad that we now have a strawberry patch and more room for the raspberries, but I could hardly wait to get back inside.

I don't like being outside.  There.  Now you know.

Happenings in May

Yesterday was a bit of a strange day, but I am realizing that that is typical for May.  May is probably my most stressful month of the year.  In May, Grace's health is usually not that great.  May signifies my Post Adoption Supports year end.  This means paperwork, desperately trying to find receipts, kicking myself for not having a better system, promising myself that next year I will keep better track of these things so that I'm not panicking at the last minute (I fail at that every year!), figuring out plans for the kids for a year down the road which is impossible, making calculations, and a meeting with another new social worker.  My meeting for this year is this afternoon.  It is with a new social worker yet again.  In the last three years, we have had a different Post Adoption Supports worker each May.  I have not found all the receipts I need, but am glad to get this over with for another year.

Yesterday, Mackenzie went on an outdoor ed. trip with school.  He gets back tonight.  Jonah went to build a deck with his Uncle John.  Mandi came over to watch the younger five kids while I locked myself in my office determined to finish my book.  It was slow going at first.  I finally felt like I hit a bit of a rhythm and then the power went out!  I needed to do some fact checking over the internet so I headed to Mark's office with my laptop only to have to turn around and come home an hour later so that Elijah could get to his baseball pictures.  But this morning, I finally finished the Epilogue of my book!  

It feels strange to have all the writing done.  There are still some housekeeping type of things that need to be done before I publish it on Kindle.  I am not sure about trying to have it published in book-book format.  It would either be a lot of work to try to find a publisher or it would cost me quite a bit out of pocket to have it published by a POD or self-publishing company.  Decisions, decisions!

May also signifies the last month I can submit homeschool expenses for re-imbursement so there is more paperwork in that.  It is also the time to register the kids for summer programs.  I went and stood in line at 6 a.m. yesterday morning so that Jonah could get into a lifesaving class in swimming.  I had heard that it fills up very quickly.  Even though I was third in line at one location, there were already 6 kids registered when I got him into the class.  I put the younger kids into a day camp for four days in August...the girls in a drama one because Gracelyn needs to do an indoor program and Sedaya and Eliana love drama and the boys in a typical outdoor/swimming/field trip day camp.

Gracelyn is okay.  She is not great.  She is not horrible.  She is actually fairly fine as long as she stays inside ALL THE TIME.  Staying inside makes her so sad.  It makes me sad too.  We also have been told that we again cannot travel to B.C. this summer with her and another trip we were considering won't be safe for her either.

BUT...on Mother's Day, she snuck went outside multiple times.  In the evening, she could hardly breathe and was so tight that I could foresee a hospital trip approaching.  I really thought she wouldn't even be able to get any medication in, but the medication began to get in and soon, it was working and her numbers came back up.  She recovered really quickly.  That is what we are noticing most about these injections she is on...they may not be the total miracle cure we were hoping for, but we can see that she rebounds more quickly and rebounds much higher and that it seems to allow her other medications to work more effectively.  

This post is all over the place...to recap, Grace is pretty good, Elijah has started baseball and though he's never even seen a game played before is already the third best on the team (very athletic that one!), I am drowning in paperwork, Mackenzie and Jonah are enjoying life this week, and my book is basically done.  Wish me luck with the new social worker this afternoon!!!

a picture just for fun: (the sun is in their eyes so they look grouchy!)

Mackenzie is 16!

I've been meaning to write this for a week now, but got too busy, but today, I thought it would be fitting on Mother's Day to talk about the child who first made me a mom 16 years ago.  I can't believe how quickly the time has gone.  I remember as clearly as though it were yesterday the day he was born.  Mackenzie was such a cute baby...I wish I had a scanner and could put pictures on here of him way back when.  He really was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen (I know that all mothers think that, but it's my blog, so I can say it as truth on here!) and a good size at 8 pounds 6 ounces.   Other than not being the best sleeper, he was the easiest baby and a good introduction to the world of motherhood.  I instantly fell in love with him and with being a mom.

Now, my baby boy is sixteen years old.  He has gone through a lot over the years and it hasn't always been easy, but he has come a long way and I am so proud of him.  He is in his last semester of grade ten, a few months ago got a promotion at his job which was well-deserved because he is so hard working, is maturing, and I am beginning to see glimpses of the man he will be.  It is an exciting time.

Last weekend, we had two parties for him.  At his friends party, he invited friends from the neighbourhood and school and there ended up being 18 sixteen year olds here for a bonfire.  They all had a lot of fun and Mark and I tried to keep the embarrassing parenting comments to a minimum (though I did threaten to lead a game of Charades at one point!).

 

The next day, we had his family party and there were plenty of people there to celebrate.

So, happy birthday Mackenzie!  I cannot believe that I am old enough to have a son who is sixteen, but I look forward to all that this year holds in store for you...driving, friendships, grade eleven, and more adventures.

And for those of you who'd like to see some classic Mackenzie facial expressions and moments, I invite you to check out this short video that Mark made of moments the two of them shared on their Ethiopia trip.

http://www.vimeo.com/19883645

Fun, Fun, Fun!

 handsome boy on a beautiful Easter Sunday

the egg hunt begins...huge outdoor hunt with almost 300 hidden eggs!  

found one!

the girls with Oma and Opa

greeting Papa